In the 5th Grade, I was a Post Office manager for a day. It was part of a field trip and it took us a month to prepare for it. After the experience, we filled out a journal with what we learned and what we wanted our grown-up self to remember. I told my grown-up self that working is hard and that I'll need "2 businesses or else you'll be poor."
16 years later, and working is hard. To see where you want to be, but not being there yet is frustrating. Sometimes, I don't want to be a grown-up. Sometimes, I want to fast-forward to where I'm successful and settled and skip the lengthy quiet, lonely seasons. But when these "sometimes" come, I have to remind myself that time is on my side. That time isn't out to get me, that these growing pains are important. This is the in-between. This is the part of the film that is boring to watch, but essential to the story.
In a culture that determines success by how fast a stranger likes your photo or by the amount of content you release so you don't go forgotten, the idea of taking your time is not popular. And yet, growth. Growth is a human trait. It is inevitable, no matter how hard we try to push it back. Growth brings change, and I'd like to believe part of our need for self-expression comes from the need to respond to this evolving change. And so, trust the process of time. If it is a quiet season, persevere through. It is an important season. Ask questions, analyze, strategize. Be. Simply be and see what you find there. As an artist, I feel the pressure to update, to have my lessons learned right away. When the truth is, I am the only one who can create as myself; how I process who I am can only be done by me. And no one else can experience what I internally experience. The pressure is only a mere illusion. As Blood Orange says, "no one's waiting for you anyway, so don't be stressed now."